PLAIN TRUTH: How do we resolve conflicts to save our marriages?

Date: 04 December 2014   Read: 1282

This article identifies some potential things that divide married couples, and these are issues that need to be addressed even before couples marry.

The love of money is the root of all evil and has explosive potential to cause havoc in every marriage. Unless a couple develops a common philosophy on how they will generate, save and spend their money in marriage, money can become a dividing factor. It is therefore imperative for a marriage counsellor to remind a couple about this potential danger.

We should also look closely at the issue of children in marriage. Lack of or the presence of children in marriage can also cause division within a family. Those who cannot have children may easily start blaming each other for this void in their marriage. Some even go to the extent of having extra-marital affairs in an effort to prove that they can give birth to children. Those who have children tend to fight on how best they can raise those children. 

Reflection on other relationships is also key. Relationships referred to here include, among others, the relationship with one’s parents, immediate and extended family – including brothers, sisters, cousins - and friends. Unless a couple has a decisive and clear plan on how to handle other relationships, their marriage can be under serious threat. The way in which couples handle other relationships has the potential of dividing them. 

Issues on the family’s religious life should be thoroughly discussed before a couple gets married. If not  handled properly, religious issues can cause division within a family. If two people come from two different denominations, they need to discuss issues regarding the essence of what they believe in and their differences. They need to discuss the place where they will worship after marriage, how family prayers will be conducted, and their involvement in advancing the Kingdom of God on earth.

These issues must be dealt with in premarital counselling to avoid confusion and conflict in the future.