Plain Truth: The grass is not always greener on the other side

Date: 15 November 2013   Read: 802

One of the greatest contributory factors towards the high rate of divorce is the notion of thinking that the grass is greener on the other side.

It is very easy to be charmed and get attracted to a colleague at work, especially when your marriage is facing its storms and you are not able to deal with the problem comprehensively. No wonder you have individuals who no longer find their spouses attractive but are getting attracted to colleagues at work.

Here are some key areas targeted by both men and women in this regard:

Communication: I know of men who will stop communicating with their wives at home, but would have the decency to communicate and be more open about any issue with their colleagues at work. They have no balls to talk about family problems, challenges about how children should be raised, their sexual problems and challenges (weak erection and early ejaculation), and finances, among others, at work but would not have the same guts to open up to their partners at home. The same applies to women who have the decency to smile, seduce and talk sweet to their colleagues at work whilst at home communication is falling apart. We always fall into a trap to think that these kinds of people are doing the same with their partners or to even think that you will forever get sweet talk when you are married to the other person. That, for me, is pure deception.

Appreciation: There are those who would leave their houses without kissing their spouses goodbye and even appreciate the beauty that they see in them (including complimenting them for dressing well), but having the guts to compliment and appreciate their colleagues on a daily basis. That is, for me, hypocrisy at its best. Charity should begin at home and therefore we should learn to appreciate one another in our marriages because if we do not do that, vultures will.

Finances: There are those men and women who will woo you by opening their purse in terms of providing you with financial assistance as if they will sustain such forever. They will buy you petrol, lunch and even offer to pay your clothing account in an effort to get you to love them. If you are married to a person who is not working or if you are faced with a financial crisis in your household, it is easy to fall for such a trap, but it is just a matter of time before you will start realising that the other person’s charity is not going to last forever. Once you fall for the trap, you will repay whatever is spent on you a hundred times. You will find yourself drowning in more debt than before.

Sexual lingo: Sweet talk and sexual lingo that seeks to appetise both the male and female species have always been used by vultures to snatch those who are happily married away from their marriages. "Hey sweety"; "chicken bone"; "yellow bone"; "my standard size" - these are some of the sweet words that are being used in such a time as this. We must stop this deception by using love language toward our spouses as we did yesterday.

The grass is not always greener on the other side and therefore, instead of running away from your problems, face them and deal with them with an eye to finding a lasting solution. When the grass becomes dry in your home turf, you need to water it consistently and nurture it; then you will get the desired outcome.