Plain Truth: Fan the passion of love in marriage

Date: 18 October 2013   Read: 438

The verse quoted in the previous chapter, Song of Songs 1:2, 4, describes the poetry about passion in a marriage and thereby points out to us that God created marriage to be a loving, passionate and, indeed, very fulfilling relationship.

Those of you who have tested a passion fruit drink in a restaurant will know that the combination and colour of the final product is as passionate as the process of sipping it. When you lose the passion spark in your marriage, you slide very fast in terms of growing cold in your approach, to a point that you might find yourself chasing after other men or women. It creates an environment where cheating finds fertile ground. Avoid divorce in your marriage by fanning the passion of love in your marriage.

The task to fan the passion of love in your marriage is not an easy task. You need to develop a spiritual discipline and learn new tricks, thereby beating the old adage that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. When you put efforts into gathering the necessary data, assessing and, in the process, learning what can work in your marriage, you have started a journey to revive your marriage and take it to another level.

When we talk about passion in this article, we are informed by the need to be romantic and retain the feeling of being attracted to each other always. If you outgrow this stage, you then start to relate to your spouse like your very own blood sister or brother and you completely lose interest in sexual matters. You only then engage in sex with her or him as a way of realising yourself. Passion brings back that "we" feeling - “we are in love” and those who look at you can really see that there is chemistry between the two of you.

The intensity of love brought by the spark of passion in your marriage makes it possible for you to miss each other to a point that you do not want to be separated at all. If one goes to work and the other remains at home, or even in the case where you are both at work, a day will not go by without dropping an sms or telephoning the other and declaring your love. You will not shy away from expressing love words and make efforts to charm your spouse with those delightful and pleasing words as reflected in the book of Song of Songs, for instance 4:9-10 and 5:18-19.

This will maintain a very healthy relationship and, in the process, avoid those small foxes that trick you into becoming a cheater or one who is always seeking a way out. It will also bring some sparks of romance into your aging marriage and indeed bring that beautiful taste like an aging wine.

How do we achieve this? Apart from the love language that you need to use, exchange of gifts, taking each other out for lunch or dinner at a restaurant, changing your sexual encounter patterns and so on, you need to start respecting, being kind and patient, understanding, not being rude and not looking after your own interests. And indeed, do not be easily angered with the other but, instead, love, cherish and look for the positives from the other.

Start caring, and all these will fan the flames of love and bring back the spark of passion into your marriage. In this way you will keep each other happy at all times.