Rape victim encourages others to speak out

Many people are not prepared to talk about problems affecting their lives, especially regarding something as intimate as rape. Yet, according to psychiatrists, talking about the matter is usually the best way to deal with trauma.

Tatenda Dhlamini (45), a Zimbabwean woman who now lives at Campbell in Musina, was raped at the age of seven. Tatenda grew up under the care of foster parents, and when she was raped, they advised her not to speak to anyone about it. But this haunted her until 2009.

“The guy who raped me threatened to kill me if I ever said anything about it. He used to give me money to keep quiet. Because of the love of money, I went into different sexual relationships with a number of men. Before repenting, I believe I slept with 30 men,” said Dhlamini.

When Tatenda entered her first marriage, she did not quit her old ways. “I never stopped cheating on my husband,” she said.

She said that she became concerned, because it was mostly unprotected sex. She had herself tested and was relieved to find out that she was negative. This served as a turning point. “When I started to worry that I might be HIV-positive in 2009, I started praying and resolved to stop this type of life,” she said.

To show that she was truly repentant, Tatenda took her own son to court for attempting to rape her daughter. She even went on to confess to her husband and his family about her previous lifestyle.

Looking back at how she grew up, Tatenda wrote a poem about how she believes men would react to marrying a virgin. In the poem, she encourages young girls to be honest and hold on to their virginity until they get married.

“A woman’s virginity is her virtue. A good man will always respect a virgin and see the value in such a lady. It is not through your education or your parents’ status that men respect you,” she said.

Tatenda’s whole life changed after she spoke out about her experience and what followed, and in 2009 she started the Answer Mhinduro Impendulo International School of Healing and Deliverance. She talked on Zimbabwean radio stations and Musina FM, giving advice to rape victims to speak out about it.

For more information on Answer Mhinduro Impendulo International School of Healing and Deliverance, contact Tatenda 084 351 6290.

Date:15 August 2021

By: Bernard Chiguvare

Bernard Chiguvare is a Zimbabwean-born journalist. He writes mainly for the online publication, Groundup.

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